the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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