there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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