He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I will be naked everywhere
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Randomize
