Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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