he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize