My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
