i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
