i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We had sex on a dog bed..
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
