I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
