We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
