Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
