Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize