I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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