there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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