Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
