My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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