You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
