Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
