I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
