After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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