A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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