Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
