She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
