I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
