If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Randomize
