the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
