Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
