Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
