To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
