you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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