Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
