And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
