Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Randomize
