Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
