Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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