New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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