why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
