I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
