The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
