His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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