party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
