Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
