Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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