I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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