do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
