first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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