I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
