So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Did I show you my penis last night?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize