Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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