I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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