There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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