you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
