your thong is hanging out like whoa
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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