I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
