didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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