everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
