I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
His hands were made for my vagina.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
