so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
