I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
