Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
