yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
