Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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