What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
