HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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