Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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