Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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