If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
