Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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