I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
